a simple girl
a child of God
xplore her world in a myriad of colours
her inside world
of true reality...
Monday, October 17, 2005
1:49 PM
it seems dat life has much more meaning den it's supposed to be. or is dat da case? then why dun i see the ray of light dat should be coming mah way? is mah life so deluded..?
sometimes, it just gets weary of everything dat's happening ard you. life becomes a monotonous routine. something dat u awake to not anticipate but to know dat u have to go through the exact same routine the day u did before. there's nothing to look forward to, nothing dat keeps ur mind wanting to stay awake, nothing dat makes u excited or be enthusiastic about. dat's mah life. fer this moment in time. feeling a lil sense of lost. a lil sense of bewilderment. mah mind is constantly preoccupied with negative feelings and thoughts. i wonder if this is gonna last fer long. sometimes, i just felt dat waking hours were a torture. it's best to be alone and sleeping. cos all troubles are therefore taken away, or at least, you need not be bothered by dem at dat moment.
i feel like i dun wanna care abt everything dat is going on in life. i wanna be isolated. into mah lil world. where no one sees me. and i see no one. maybe life will be alil better. i won't see people dat will make me feel sad. i won't see people dat will make me feel uncomfortable. and i won't see people who brings back so much painful memories. i take a step into life. and realise the cruelty dat it has brought along with it. mistakes. regrets. wad's more.
i know i shouldn't be thinking this way. seeing things in such a negative light. but sometimes, dat is really how i feel. whether it is just plain emotional surges or not, there are uncountable number of times i have felt this way. and it's such a torture on mah mind dat i couldn't really take it sometimes. will i see da light dat is reaching out to me? i know, mah sisters n bros will say, no u shldn't think this way, u shldn't feel like this, we're all in Christ, and in Christ alone we're all void of fears and troubles, fer we cast our fear on Him. i know this, in fact i have been preaching this to many people, but sometimes, it is just human nature to feel this way. i hope i wish at times like this, dere will be someone to bring me out of this misery, be it a fren or whoever, i just needed some support there.
maybe, life would be better off if everyone thinks da same way. then again, it will never be possible for all people to think in like manner. this is life. accept it.
soMedAy we'Ll kNow..iF LoVe cAn mOve a mOuNtAin...*
daBELOVEDchild
sherdinojuan*
20*
nus*
child of God*
hopeless romantic*
choco addict*
vainypot*
loves sweet lil things*
jack of all sports, but master of none*
laughs and giggles incessantly*
mahWISHES
To enjoy mah Abba's Love forevermore
continous spiritual growth in ABBA
on da dean's list GRACE solely :)
ipod nano wif mah name :)
da super mini roxy tote
korea trip!
mahWANTS
Creative Zen V Plus Mp3 player
Cool shades
Nokia N73!
BeBe's white angelic jacket
RALPH perfume
Roxy Boardshorts
Roxy White Cap
New Hot Bikini!
mahLURVES
God
chocs
sweet lil things
music
happie moments wif mah dearies
meeting mah old frens
bitching wif mah dearies
short afternoon talks at coffeehouses
